Kindred Spirits
by MiaCalendar
Summary: Ch. 10 is up! Based on S7 spoilers. B/S, W/T, and X/A. Starts after 7.3 First fanfic, please review!
1. Kindred Spirits

Title: Kindred Spirits  
Author: Mia  
Rating: PG for now, maybe NC-17 later  
Summary: Set after 7.3, Spoilers for S7. W/T, B/S, X/A  
Warning, this is my first fic, so please review!  
  
  
Willow moved quickly through the cemetery, a bouquet of daisies in hand. She had waited till sundown, putting off the visit until the last second. It wouldn't be too smart to be caught visiting one of Sunnydale's twelve cemeteries after dark. She wore one of her old crosses, one Xander had given her in high school, just in case any vampires decided to seek out an early breakfast.   
  
She moved through the headstones, quickly, wishing she could have made herself come during the day. "But depression is a funny thing," she said aloud, to no one in particular.  
  
As she approached the grave, she felt her stomach start to knot.   
Buffy and Xander picked well, she thought, she would have liked this. Or maybe it was Dawn...  
  
She stopped in front of a small marble angel, next to a small weeping willow tree. Funny, thought Willow, 'cause here, Willow will always be weeping. "Irony, huh,babe?", she addressed the marble nameplate.  
  
Slowly, she sank to her knees. "I brought you daisies, today, 'cause....well, I guess it seemed like a daisy day."  
  
So unreal, so unreal, so unreal, her mind began to chant.  
  
She arranged the flowers. "I wore my floppy hat today, to keep my hair out of my face. Yesterday wasn't so pretty when I left, hair and the crying and mucus. Not that I'm trying to look pretty, I just don't want everyone thinking I'm crazier than...." she trailed off, tracing the letters of the marble nameplate with two fingers.  
  
TARA MCCLAY.   
Beloved   
  
How could this be real?   
  
Willow remembered thinking the same thing when Buffy died. It was like an episode of the Twilight Zone, not real life. Not her life. She started to shake. She knew she should go, because after the shaking came the crying, and after the crying she ususlly threw up. But she she sat there, on her knees.  
  
"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry....."  
  
The tears began flowing as she thought about the last four months, images flashing in her mind. Tara dying, her black magic binge, killing Warren, her almost ending the world. She had been almost comatose when Giles put her on the plane to England. When she became coherent, she was in his flat in Bath. And he had helped her. She had tried to kill him, and he helped her.....   
  
And then he sent her home. Alone, to face friends who couldn't even see her. She was invisible to her friends. Not Anya, not to Spike, but to Buffy and Xander and Dawn. She had been out of phase. The magic that would never leave her, that she had to learn to manage made her invisible. But the worst part was, she became invisible because she wanted to be invisible. She was so ashamed. No, not invisible, she thought, but dead. She wanted to die.   
  
"It should have been me."  
  
Sobbing, she pitched herself forward on the grave. And a figure watched the sobbing red headed witch from behind a tomb, cigarette in hand and his own tears, rolling down his face.  
  
--------------------------  
  
Nine nights, he thought. He wiped his eyes and threw his cigarette on the ground. He  
stopped, and looked at the ground.  
Littering is bad, I'll have to pick these....Oh bloody hell! Poncey soul!   
  
He kicked the tomb. Spike shook his head. Instead of the vamp with a soul, I'll be the  
vamp that doesn't litter, he thought ruefully. Glancing at Willow again, he decided to  
give her two more minutes.   
  
She had been coming here every night since she came back. He was patrolling the  
cemetery the first night, nine days ago, avoiding Buffy, when he saw her.   
  
She was talking to Tara, and he hadn't wanted to interrupt, when she began screaming  
through her tears, "Why can't they see me?" over and over again. She was in such  
distress, Spike had been unable to stop himself from running to her and taking her in his  
arms.  
  
"Shhh, Red, it's okay, shhh," he had murmured it over and over into her hair. They sat on  
Tara's grave and Spike had rocked her like a child, until her sobs had become sniffles.   
  
Wearily, she looked up at him, her eyes red, and asked, "Why can you see me?" After she  
had told him about how the other Scoobies couldn't see her, he had taken her to Buffy's.  
He quickly explained the situation to Dawn, and she had called the Scoobies. When Anya  
arrived, she could see her, and he had left. Left before the whelp had come.   
  
But he felt...responsible. And as long as she was going to be in the cemetery after  
sundown, he should keep an eye on her. She probably knew about his new soul by now,  
and maybe, just maybe she could empathize. Not that I deserve it, he thought. So he came  
here for the last nine nights, watching her cry, and watching her back all the way to  
Buffy's.  
  
Her two minutes were up. Spike slowly approached Willow from behind, walking heavily  
so she would hear him approach. Buffy had given him his duster back, so it made a little  
noise in the wind. She sat up slowly, sniffling and wiping her tears, but she didn't turn  
around.   
  
"You have a soul," she said quietly.  
  
"How'd ya know it was me, pet?", he asked.   
  
"The magic. The magic will never be gone now." She turned around and peered up at him  
from under her hat.  
  
"Walk you home, Red?", he smiled gently and stuck out his hand.   
  
Then she did something that surprised him. Willow took his hand, and when he helped  
her up, she went right into his arms. It startled him, a human sliding so voluntarily into  
his arms, and he took an unnecessary breath before he allowed himself to hug her back.  
He felt like clinging to her, her warmth, but he let her go. Otherwise, he might start crying  
again, and that wouldn't help anyone.  
  
"You follow me anyway, you might as well walk with me tonight," she whispered.   
  
Before they left, Spike gave her his duster, and after she shrugged it on, she turned back  
to the headstone.   
  
"Goodnight baby. I love you."   
  
And she kissed two fingers and pressed them to the marble. When she turned back, he  
offered her his arm.  
  
They walked toward the house on Revello Drive in silence. When they got there, Willow  
took off his coat and handed it back.   
  
"Thank you for the coat. It's starting to get chilly at night."   
  
"Yeah, well..." he began to stammer, almost shyly.   
  
"And thank you for watching out for me. I just need some time to mourn, I guess."   
  
Spike nodded, and ducking his head, turned to go. She walked up the steps, and then  
decided she had to know.  
  
"Spike!" she called. Surprised, he whirled around. And there she was, her huge eyes  
almost pleading with him.   
  
"Does it hurt? Your soul? Knowing all the awful things you did?" she blurted.  
  
He looked at the ground. And then he swallowed and met her gaze evenly. His eyes are so  
blue, like ice, she thought.   
  
"It's bloody killing me, pet." He cocked his head to one side, studying her, waiting for her  
reaction.   
  
"Me too, Spike. Me too." She gave him a tired half-smile, and turned, going into the  
house.   
  
He stood there a moment, staring at the door. "Kindred spirits, then," he whispered, and  
disappeared into the night.  
  
  
  
to be continued................ 


	2. Buffy Encounter

Title: Kindred Spirits  
Author: Mia  
Rating: PG for now, maybe NC-17 later  
Summary: Set after 7.3, Spoilers for S7. W/T, B/S, X/A  
Warning, this is my first fic, so please review!  
I own nothing, ME and Fox own all!  
Chapter 2  
  
  
Willow and Spike developed a ritual. Every evening after dinner, she went to the cemetery. Over the next week, her tears had subsided from sobs to quiet trickles. And as soon as she finished, she would stand and Spike would be there. Like magic. It was comforting for both of them.  
  
He would walk her home, and she listen to him tell about his triasl in Africa, how he came to win his soul. And she told him about how once in England, Giles had bound her powers, afraid she'd hurt herself. How his coven friends had helped her manage the magic that would always be with her  
  
It was Tuesday night, and she had been wondering how much longer they would go without running into Buffy. And then Buffy ran into them.  
  
"I have nightmares. About Warren. About hurting the people I love," admitted Willow, pushing a lock of hair back behind her ear.   
  
"The nightmares are the worst. Or in my case the daymares," Spike agreed.  
  
She was about to ask him about his dreams, when a pounding behind them made them both start to turn-  
  
Thunf! And they were knocked on their backs. A running vampire had tried to run them over. The newly risen fledgling was above their heads, clawing at the ground, trying to scramble to his feet before his pursuer caught up.   
  
But she was already there.   
  
"Come back here, you coward!  
  
"Stay down!" she cried to Willow and Spike, and taking a running leap, Buffy executed a flying side kick, sailing over their heads. She knocked the the vampire to the ground and pinned him with one foot.   
  
Stake poised she growled, "I don't even work at the Double Meat Palace anymore. And even when I did, it didn't make my blood tainted. Slayer blood is a tasty, nummy treat!"   
  
And down came her stake. "So there!", she finished, standing and brushing vampire ashes from her pants.   
  
When she turned around, Willow and Spike were sitting up, trying hard not to laugh.   
"Did he question your honor, Slayer?" Spike asked, one amused eyebrow up.   
Willow giggled. Spike stood and pulled Willow to her feet, and when they looked back at Buffy, she was still standing with a frown on her face, hands on hips.  
  
"Is-is something the matter, Buffy? Willow stammered. She figured they were about to get a few less-than-polite questions on what they were doing out together, Buffy best friend and and Buffy's vampire ex.   
  
"Well, I'm just wondering....I've come across quite a few vamps recently who have said they were avoiding me and my 'tainted blood'. So I'm wondering Spike, where they would get ANY idea what my blood tastes like?"  
  
He cocked his head, as if trying to understand what she was insinuating. Then it dawned on him. She thought he was gossiping like her and her little birds. Sighing, he reached in his duster for a cigarette and light.  
  
"WELL?" Buffy thundered.  
  
He took a drag a blew out his smoke towards her.   
  
And then, acid in his voice, "Yeah , luv, you caught me. I love to tell anyone in the Demon world who will listen about how sometimes when I shagged the Slayer, she let me have a little nip. It makes me very popular. They line up to kick my ass for blocks, pet. Criminy!"  
  
He kicked the dirt in frustration.  
  
"Goodnight, Red." And he whirled around, stalking off into the night.  
  
Willow's eyes were huge. She let him drink, wow, that's serious, she marveled silently. And then she saw Buffy looking after Spike despondently.  
  
"Maybe an apology would be good?" she said sympathetically.   
  
Buffy smiled sadly. "Walk you home, Red?" she said, affecting her best Cockney.  
  
"Sure."   
  
"And you can tell me what you've been doing every night with the non-evil undead."  
  
Willow and Buffy both laughed, but Willow thought her friend's laughter sounded---- forced.  
  
To be continued.... 


	3. Old Ghosts

Title: Kindred Spirits  
Author: Mia  
Rating: PG for now, maybe NC-17 later  
Summary: Set after 7.3, Spoilers for S7. W/T, B/S, X/A  
Warning, this is my first fic, so please review! Oh and all belongs to ME and Fox and Joss!  
  
  
Chapter 3  
  
  
That night, Spike walked along, cursing to himself under his breath.   
  
"Idiot! So stupid, so bloody stupid, supposed to be helping her, and you lay there like a big wanker. Damn!  
  
He could feel the guilt, the pain welling up inside his chest, ready to explode his unbeating heart. And then he heard a noise. Like a rustle of the leaves.  
  
Spike stopped at the edge of the clearing and sniffed the air. Maybe one of the girls had followed him. But he didn't feel any tingles, the ones that were so strong with Buffy's presence, or the lighter ones that told him when what humans, once his prey ,were near. But the feeling he did have was familiar. It knotted his stomach. It was FEAR.  
  
He smelled the expensive perfume on the wind and was instantly chilled to the bone. He turned slowly, and what he saw made him want to retch.  
  
She twirled a blonde curl and tilted her head, grinning at him viciously.   
  
"Well, hello there my little sugar pie...You wouldn't happen to have seen my Key now, would you?"   
  
-----------------  
  
"So he's helping you then?" Buffy asked as she rummaged in her fridge.  
  
"Yeah, I think he is. Hey, where's Dawn tonight, I thought you were taking her on patrol?" said Willow, sitting on a stool, trying to look innocent.  
  
"No, she has a paper she's writing at school. I think she waited till the last minute. And you are so NOT distracting me from this line of questioning."  
  
Willow tried to look penitent. "I know, I know," she mumbled.  
  
"You do know that Xander or I would have been happy to visit the grave with you."  
  
"I know, but...he just was there and...."  
  
Buffy raised her eyebrows. "And he understands because of his shiny new soul?"  
  
"Well....yeah."  
  
"I know what it's like to have done things you regret, Will. I've done some bad things, too."  
  
They sat in silence and Willow let Buffy's words hang in the air for a second. She hoped it would give her a second to reflect on her regrets before she said what she wanted to say since the cemetery.   
  
"I think you should put down your water bottle and go talk to him."  
  
Buffy sipped her water and contemplated. She had acted like big spaz tonight, all accusing and not nice.   
  
"I mean, I think you hurt his feelings," Willow continued, "And maybe his feelings have been hurt enough, by all of us." She watched Buffy carefully.  
  
"I have been a big idiot every time I see him. It's just a hard pattern to break. We've always been snarky, I didn't think it would be so hard to nice."  
  
Willow could see her wavering. "He's only got a ten minute head start on you. And it's not like you don't know where he lives." She smiled cheerfully.  
  
Buffy grinned back. "And since he is at the school now, and I do have to pick Dawn up...."   
  
"See you later, then," Willow finished. But Buffy was already out the door.  
  
  
----------  
  
Spike wanted to move, but his legs just wouldn't obey. The world had stopped, and now the hellbitch was smirking at him.  
  
Glorificus. Glory.  
  
She was wearing her usual, silky red dress, with red satin stilettos. She looked exactly the same, his brain thought wildly.  
  
She licked her lips slowly, and blew him a kiss.  
  
Finally, he managed to stammer, "Y-y-you're dead."  
  
"So are you, precious, I don't see you complaining."  
  
"This isn't happening."  
  
"Oh, but it is." She laughed merrily. "I am just back to check up on my favorite little vampire." She advanced towards him, and he could feel the sweat starting to bead on his brow.  
  
"If you think you failed last time, baby cakes," she purred seductively at his ear, taking his head in her hands, "you won't believe what I have in store this time." She grabbed him by throat.  
  
"Not only will you watch your precious Buffy die again, but little Dawnie too, and I intend them to long, slow, torturous deaths, and for you to watch."  
  
And then Spike saw the world go black.  
  
  
  
-------------------  
  
Buffy walked at a steady clip, pulling her jacket tight. First, she thought, the cemetery. Then she would track him quickly from there. And when she found him?  
  
No plan there! Her mind flung at her.  
  
She should apologize. Because she hadn't meant to be mean. He was helping Willow, and he had helped her at the school, and she should be nice.   
  
Even though he tried to....  
  
No, she thought. Not gonna go there. That wasn't entirely his fault, or at least that's what she had decided while he was gone. He was so desperate that night, in a terrible place that she had help drive him to.  
  
They hadn't talked about. That night, his soul, it had been all business since his return, and they hadn't discussed any of it. And whenever she tried to talk to him, it came out all wrong and kind of mean.  
  
But they would talk. No sense putting off, she decided.  
  
--------  
  
Spike came to, and the world was spinning. He slowly pushed his way to his knees, looking around. Where did she go? His mind screamed.   
  
To get Buffy and Dawn. And somewhere inside, a dam broke.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" He screamed and fell back down sobbing.   
  
----------  
  
Buffy heard the cry, and her blood went cold. She had never heard Spike scream, ever. She started to run.  
  
----------  
  
He lurched to his feet, blinded by tears.   
  
I failed again. They are dead, and there will be no one to stop her.   
  
He wanted to die . He deserved to die. And he couldn't wait until morning. He started to run.  
  
--------  
  
Buffy was running hard, but Spike's vampire speed was keeping him ahead of her.   
  
If I just could have gotten closer than a hundred yards before he started to run!   
  
She could here him wailing, still.   
  
It sounds like keening, she thought. Maybe he's lost his mind from the soul. Angel said it almost drove him mad when he first had it. If only I could remember!  
  
Then she realized her feet had hit pavement. She stopped, catching her breath.   
  
Where was he?   
  
She looked at all the buildings. Buffy panted and tried to listen. And then she heard Spike scream again.   
  
He was in the church.   
  
What the hell is wrong with him? She was blur, running up the steps and throwing open the heavy door.  
  
The sight was mind-blowing. Spike, utterly out of his mind, had ripped off his shirt and was hugging the huge cross on the pulpit.   
  
Buffy stopped for a second, too stunned to move. And then he moaned. "Buffy, Dawn, nooooooo......" he sobbed.   
  
Buffy approached him slowly. "Spike?"   
  
When he didn't respond, she quickly jumped up on the pulpit, and using all her strength., pulled him off. She tossed him to the floor. She started to scream at him, but it was no use. He was unconscious.   
  
Looking at his wounded body, she almost threw up. The stench of burning flesh coupled with sight of the huge marks of the cross was almost too much for her. But there was something else. When she bent down to examine what looked like tiny scars, she saw tiny cross shaped burns. It looked like he had been torturing himself, burning a tiny cross pattern across the places when his shirt usually covered him.  
  
When she pulled out the cell phone to call the Scoobies into action, she realized she was crying.  
  
  
To be continued.... 


	4. Heal

Title: Kindred Spirits  
Author: Mia  
Rating: PG-13 for now, maybe NC-17 later  
Summary: Set after 7.3, Spoilers for S7. W/T, B/S, X/A  
Warning, this is my first fic, so please review!  
I own nothing, ME and Fox own all!  
  
Chapter 4   
  
  
Xander Harris hauled ass. Or least as fast as he could haul without getting pulled over. Through Buffy's sniffling, all he'd gotten was to come to the Methodist church, something about Captain Peroxide being badly hurt.   
  
He had so many questions. Why were they in a church? Why was Buffy crying? Was she hurt, too? Did something chase them into the church? What had injured Deadboy Jr.? Why did he care?  
  
Because Buffy was crying and called him, he thought grimly.  
  
His car screeched to halt in front of the church.  
  
------  
  
God, have I thought of everything?   
  
Buffy sat in the floor, cradling Spike's bleached head in her lap, careful to avoid his injuries. She had called Willow, to her to have healing spells and herbs ready, along with bandages. Called Xander, told him to bring the car. Called Dawn's cell, told her she'd be late picking her up.  
  
She felt stupid, trying to control her voice, knowing Dawn would freak out. She had to get him home first. Then she'd tell Dawn.  
  
Xander burst through the church doors.  
  
"Buffy are you all right...." He trailed off.  
  
Xander blanched.   
  
God, I thought he looked bad after the run-in with Glory. He looks like dogmeat, he thought silently.   
  
Buffy gave him a second to deal. She could see the horror on his face.  
  
"We need to get him home," she whispered.  
  
"Yeah. His basement or...."  
  
"No. My house. Willow's waiting. Can you get a hold of Anya? I think we may need her, too."  
  
"Sure." He walked over to Buffy. "How do we do this, move him I mean?"  
  
"He's pretty out, but gently I guess. His back isn't burned, so I can get his shoulders. Can you take his feet?" Buffy gently eased him from her lap to the floor.   
  
Xander moved down to his legs and stopped. He looked at Buffy uneasily.  
  
"What?"  
  
He looked down at the vampire's still form. "Buffy, what if the damage isn't just...above the waist? What if..."  
  
"Just get his feet. We deal with that when we get home."  
  
She had be stoic, but when she saw how gentle Xander was trying to be as they carried him to the car, she felt tears welling up again. He situated Spike in the back seat, and then went around to close Buffy's door. She swallowed back her tears and smiled sickly at Xander.   
  
He thought he had never seen her look so desperate.  
  
----------------  
  
Willow was waiting at the front door. As Buffy and Xander trundled Spike's limp body up the front steps, she gasped in horror. And even in her horror she knew what had happened.  
  
"On the couch?" She asked Buffy.   
  
"No, upstairs. My room."  
  
Willow ran up ahead to pull stuff off the bed and move covers back. Xander and Buffy slowly navigated the stairs, and once in Buffy's room, laid him gently on the bed.   
  
"Buffy, how did this happen?" Willow asked.   
  
"I found him in the clearing, just outside the cemetery. I heard him scream, and when I got within a hundred yards, he started to run. Running and wailing. I followed him into town, and into the Methodist church. He had torn off his shirt and was hugging the cross, just letting it burn him."  
  
"Oh my God." Willow put a hand over her mouth.  
  
"Literally," Xander added.  
  
Buffy didn't even look at him, her eyes fixed on Spike. "I called his name, and he didn't even hear me. He just kept sobbing, mumbling about me and Dawn, so I ran up and ripped him off of it. I guess he passed out from the pain. And then I called you guys."  
  
She moved to head of the bed and peered down at him. "Could you call Anya, and go get stuff ready? I need to take off...." she swallowed. "I need to see if there is more here."  
  
"Sure , Buff. Just come get us when you're ready." Xander grabbed Willow's hand and they went down stairs.  
  
Buffy waited till their footfalls were gone. "Please, Spike don't let there be anymore." And she started to untie his boots.  
  
-------------  
"Goddess, Xander. It looks like lattice work on his body."  
  
"Yeah, I thought I was gonna heave for a minute." he sighed. "Well, I guess I better call An."  
  
Willow smiled. "I'll be in the kitchen."  
  
Xander watched her go, and then he sighed again.  
  
"Anya?"  
  
Nothing.  
  
"Anya?"  
  
Still nothing.  
  
"Oh Anyanka, Goddess of my universe, please bless me with your blinding beauty and magnificent presence?"  
  
"I don't think you were humble enough when you said that!" snapped a voice behind him, causing him to jump.  
  
"Great horny toads, Anya! You scared me to death!"  
  
"Well, that's what you get for not being appropriately penitent when you summon me." Anya put her hands on her hips and frowned at him.  
  
"I'm sorry, honey. I am humble before you, I swear. It's just a...a... Scooby emergency."  
  
"Spike?"  
"Yes. Extra-crispy, not original," Xander quipped.  
  
"Dammit." She turned on her heel and started for the kitchen.  
  
Dammit was right, thought Xander, trailing after her.  
  
--------------  
Anya and Willow were just finishing the blessing of the balm when Buffy walked in.   
  
"Is it...?" Xander winced.  
  
"No, just on his upper thighs. Nothing below or in sensitive areas," Buffy said with a slight shudder. "Xander, can you go pick up Dawn at school? You don't have to tell her, I'll do it when she gets here. If he wakes up during this, I have to be here to hold him down."  
  
"Sure." He pulled out his keys.   
  
"Well girls, let's do this." And the three girls took the balm, herbs and headed upstairs. Xander headed out the door.  
  
----------  
  
Willow placed her supplies next to the bed while Anya studied Spike's injuries. Buffy positioned herself on the bed next him, just in case he thrashed.   
  
"He's not dealing with the soul as well as I'd hoped," Anya said, looking at Buffy sympathetically. " The little crosses are couple of days old." She started soaking the bandages in the bowl.   
  
"Thank you guys," Buffy said somberly.  
  
"Huh," said Anya.   
  
"What's huh?"  
  
Anya smiled. "I guess the soul gave him modesty, too. Spike bought underwear," she smiled, pointing at his black silk boxers.   
  
Willow started to giggle. "Way more than I needed to know!" She leaned down, laying the first bandage on his chest. They all watched to see if he woke up, but he never moved. Willow and Anya worked together silently, patching him up, sprinkling him with herbs, and then they chanted a healing blessing.   
  
"It is that it?" Buffy asked hopefully.   
  
"Yeah. it will ease the pain and speed the healing. Anya and I can get his clothes back on him, if you want to go downstairs." Willow started picking up the bandages, and Buffy realized she was looking her with sympathy in her eyes. Confused, she turned to Anya.  
  
"Xander and Dawn just pulled up. He must have taken her for an ice cream."  
  
Buffy winced, and headed down the stairs.  
--------  
  
Dawn threw upon the front door in a fury. "Where is he?" she demanded, her face flushed. Buffy momentarily weighed making her wait till Willow and Anya were done dressing him, but decided it would only make her more upset.   
  
Instead she simply said, "Upstairs," and stepped out of the way. Dawn glared her and took the steps two at a time. A haggard Xander appeared in the door.  
  
"You are a brave man," she said, smiling.   
  
"Yes, I am. I can stand the wrath of teenage girls everywhere. Had lots of practice." He closed the door.  
  
"I'd have told her."  
  
"I wanted to give you a little more time, and when we sat down with the ice cream instead of bringing it home, she knew something was up. Besides, you've had a rough enough night without having to break that to her."   
  
"Yeah, well thanks. They're almost finished upstairs, and I thought we'd talk about this before left." She walked into the living room and gestured for Xander to sit on the couch with her.   
  
A minute later they were joined by Willow, Anya, and teary-eyed Dawn. Buffy got up and drew her sister into her arms.   
  
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you immediately, but you had to finish your paper. I knew you'd be upset and...," Buffy started.  
  
"And you were upset, too." Dawn finished. "They told me what happened, but Buffy...... what happened?"  
  
Anya raised her hand, and they all took a seat. Xander smiled and said "Yes, Anya?"  
  
"His soul is driving him crazy" she said pertly.  
  
"Angel told me that for a long time, he was pretty crazy from the new soul. So I guess it'd be the same for Spike, " Buffy offered.  
  
Anya contemplated this. "No, not necessarily. Angelus was cursed with his soul, while Spike earned his, so Spike will probably not suffer as long. I can tell you that while I've felt his general pain, what ever happened to him tonight was really bad. His pain totally blocked out everything else tonight."  
  
"Did you see anything, Buff?" asked Xander.   
  
"No, he was alone in the clearing, as far as I could see. Then he took off running."  
  
"He might have been hallucinating," Willow said quietly.  
  
"What do mean?" asked Dawn, hesitation in her voice.   
  
Willow tucked a strand of red hair back behind her hair and took a deep breath. "I don't really remember much from the time I got here till I woke up in Giles' apartment. It was like one big hallucination. All the bad things I did, Tara dying, just replayed over and over in my head. Even when I became coherent, the guilt was just....killing me. I wanted to die."  
  
"Do you think Spike was trying to kill himself?" Buffy shuddered.  
  
"No," Willow said uneasily. "I think he was trying to hurt himself. Punish himself."  
  
"I saw that on an episode of ER," Dawn offered. She ducked her head. "When I cut myself, when I found out I was the Key, that's what people at school thought I did."  
  
"Whoa, back up..."said Xander.  
  
"It's like...." Willow tried to think of the best way to explain it. "It's like the pain and the guilt are so bad, you cause yourself physical harm, because it gives you relief . It distracts you from the internal pain by giving you external pain to focus on."  
  
"And he could of just come to me, " Xander sighed.   
  
"Xander," Anya warned.   
  
"Yeah, I know....so what do we do? Chain him up?" He felt cheered by the idea.  
  
"No. Let's watch him overnight, and I'll try to talk to him. I'll let everyone know how it goes." Buffy suddenly felt better to be making a decision.  
  
"Okay," Anya stood up. "You do that. Xander, walk me home."  
  
to be continued...... 


	5. You Gotta Have Faith

Title: Kindred Spirits  
Author: Mia  
Rating: PG-13 for now, maybe NC-17 later  
Summary: Set after 7.3, Spoilers for S7. W/T, B/S, X/A  
Warning, this is my first fic, so please review!  
I own nothing, ME and Fox own all!  
  
Chapter 5  
  
Xander and Anya left, and Willow and Dawn had gone to bed. Buffy sat at her vanity and brushed her hair. She had changed into PJ's and she had decided to sleep in her bed with a very bandaged Spike. No one had asked her what her sleeping arrangements were, and she wasn't going to volunteer information, especially to Xander.   
  
He had managed to behave tonight, but I'm not going to push my luck, she thought as she glanced at the sleeping vampire.   
  
She turned off the lamp and went to crawl under the covers, giving a last look at the heavy towels Dawn had taped to the window. She told her that Spike was apparently crispy enough, no need for sunburn. Buffy smiled at her and gave her a hug.   
  
Buffy fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow, not realizing she was completely exhausted.  
  
----------  
  
The dream started off fuzzy. Then with the intensity that signified her Slayer dreams, everything suddenly snapped into focus.  
  
Buffy was sitting in a classroom, her legs dangling from an oversize desk. The furniture was all very large. She looked around and saw she was alone.   
  
A Slayer dream.  
  
She tried to remember all the techniques Giles had taught her about remembering these dreams.   
  
Wait, my hand.  
  
She looked at the back of her right hand to focus herself, and saw a circle of blood. When she looked up again someone with long, light brown hair was sitting at the desk in front of her.   
  
"Dawn?" She asked, reaching out touch her shoulder.  
  
But when she turned around, the hair had gone darker, and she was looking into Faith's dark eyes.  
  
" Hey B." Faith smiled.  
  
"Hello." Buffy saw that Faith was wearing a schoolgirl outfit, and when she looked down she wore one identical to it.  
  
"Did you get your homework?" Faith asked.  
  
"No, I don't think so."  
  
"Oh, well, I left it on that table for you. Teacher said for me to take it to you, but you weren't there."  
  
Buffy looked up to the head of the classroom, and writing busily in her gradebook, was Jenny Calendar.  
  
Buffy looked at Faith, who was smiling at her eagerly, and slid off her chair. She walked to the table, and Faith followed, like a puppy.  
  
It was a giant scroll, laid out on huge table. It was so tall Buffy had to pull over a chair to look down on it. It was filled with magical symbols, drawings, and words in a language Buffy didn't recognize.  
  
Faith vaulted herself onto the tabletop, and sat watching Buffy. "I think I can help you with this," she told her confidently.  
  
"But you have all that make-up work to do," replied Buffy.  
  
"I was gone a long time, but I'm sure I can fit you in. Maybe you could help me with my makeup assignments. You are my big sis, after all." Faith grinned.  
  
"I can't do your homework for you, Faith," Buffy said in her best big sister voice. " I have to take care of Dawn."  
  
"Her father can watch her. He's just in there. And you SO need my help!  
  
I do not. I can ask Willow and Xander and Giles.  
  
"Giles is busy with Teacher. And Willow and Xander can't even get out of their playpen, yet!" Faith pointed back to the teachers desk. And sure enough, Giles was engrossed in conversation with Jenny. Net to the desk, a big playpen held a tiny Willow and Xander. They were playing with baby toys, happily oblivious.  
  
"I'll call Angel. He'll come." Buffy whispered uncertainly.   
  
Faith started to laugh. And from nowhere, Tara appeared, wearing long white robes.  
  
Buffy felt her eyes well up. "You aren't Tara, are you?"  
  
"No," she said though her lips did not move. "But yes. I am what has been, what is and what shall always be."  
  
"Cryptic, just great," Buffy muttered.  
  
Faith had stopped laughing. She moved to grab up Buffy's hand. "Everything comes full circle, B." She gave her a long, serious look, and in a flash, was gone.  
  
Buffy turned to Tara, and found herself back in her PJ's.   
  
"Are you leaving, too?"   
  
"Yes, but I'll be back." Tara smiled. "But remember, it's almost here."  
  
-----------  
  
When Buffy woke up, she was alone. She knew she should find paper and write down the details of her dream, but she had to know if Spike was still in the house.   
  
She crept towards the stairs, trying not to wake anyone else. As she started towards the first step, she realized she heard the CD player in the living room.   
So he was still here. She sighed in relief. She made her way down the stairs quietly, and was amazed at what she saw.   
  
There was Spike, asleep, sitting on the couch. And curled up, head in his lap, was her little sister. His hand was on her hair, as if he had stroked her hair till she fell asleep.   
  
Padding into the living room, she looked at the CD player and saw that he'd put it on "repeat track." The song played the last few strains and started again.  
  
What was he listening to?  
  
She sat down in the floor, and heard Tom Petty's voice come softly through the speakers. He sang slowly.  
  
"I dreamed you,   
I saw your face.   
Cut my lifeline when drifting through space.   
  
I saw an angel,   
I saw my fate.  
I can only thank God it was not too late.   
  
Over mountains,   
I floated away.   
Cross an ocean,   
I dreamed her name.   
  
I followed an angel down through the gates.   
I can only thank God it was not too late.  
  
Sing a little song of loneliness,   
Sing one to make me smile.  
Another round for everyone,  
I'm here for a little while.   
  
Now I'm walkin'  
This street on my own.   
But she's with me  
Everywhere I go.  
  
Yeah, I found an angel,   
I found my place.   
I can only thank God it was not too late.   
I can only thank God it was not too late.   
I can only thank God it was not too late."  
  
Watching the sweet picture Dawn and Spike made, Buffy turned off the CD player. She gave them one long look, closed the curtains behind the sofa, and went upstairs. She sat on her bed, feeling suddenly forlorn.   
  
"What the hell am I gonna do with you, Spike?" she asked to her room, and fell back on her bed.  
  
To be continued......  
  
Note: "Angel Dream (No. 2)" from the album, She's the One  
Words And Music By Tom Petty  
Used without permission, please don't sue me Tom Petty. 


	6. Rubbing Out the Knots

Title: Kindred Spirits  
Author: Mia  
Rating: PG for now, maybe R later  
Summary: Set after 7.3, Spoilers for S7. W/T, B/S, X/A  
Warning, this is my first fic, so please review!  
I own nothing, ME and Fox own all!  
  
  
Chapter 6  
  
  
"Buffy?"  
  
"Buffy?" Dawn beat on the side of the door impatiently. Buffy pushed herself to her side and squinted at Dawn in the sunlight.   
  
"You're gonna be late."  
  
Buffy willed her sleepy brain to work."Where's Spike?" She yawned.  
  
"He's in my room, knocked out. I woke up early and persuaded....I'll tell you everything on the way to school, but you better get moving!"  
  
Buffy sighed and rolled out of bed, watching Dawn bound towards the stairs.   
  
---------  
  
She showered quickly, grabbed her OJ and keys, and went out to the Jeep. Starting the car, she glanced at Dawn.   
  
"So spill."  
  
Dawn checked her hair. "Well, I woke up thirsty, so I went downstairs to get a drink. And Spike was in living room, sitting on the couch, listening to a CD. "  
  
"And...."   
  
"And he was.....upset. I asked him if he was okay, what happened, and he said he wasn't sure, but he thought he saw....but it was probably a hallucination......and-"  
  
"You are hemming and hawing, Dawn. What?" Dawn bit her lip.  
  
"He thought he saw Glory."  
  
Buffy put on her signal and pulled into the nearest parking lot.   
  
Hands shaking, she turned off the ignition. "And you didn't think maybe you should...oh, I don't know....WAKE ME UP?" she yelled.  
  
"Buffy wait! He's sure he hallucinated it, and when Willow woke up she said she didn't feel Glory at all!"  
  
"Okay...okay! So he thought he saw Glory...." Buffy began again.  
  
"And she taunted him, and threatened to kill us, and he sort of snapped. And it isn't the first hallucination, either. I just....held him while he cried it out. And I told him we'd get through this, together. He asked if I'd stay with him, and I sorta fell asleep. When we woke up, I tried to get him to go back to your bed, but he was insistent he wouldn't wake you. He felt guilty enough for what you saw last night. So I made him get in my bed while I got ready. He promised to stay with us till he's healed." She looked at Buffy imploringly.  
  
Buffy sighed. "Dawn...I don't know."  
  
"Buffy, he needs help! Look, he gave me ten bucks for blood, which you know he needs to heal." Dawn fumbled in her pocket.  
  
"All right. I'll go after my 11 o'clock appointment." She started the car.   
  
Dawn smiled.  
--------------------  
  
Buffy put her key in the door and turned it, 2 bags of O+ in hand. Will he still be asleep, she wondered.  
  
The house was silent, so she went to the kitchen and threw the blood bags in the fridge. Could he heat up his own blood? She hadn't though to ask Dawn how he was getting around. Guess I better go upstairs and check on the Undead English Patient, she thought wryly.   
  
As she quietly made her way up the stairs, her stomach began to knot. Much in the way it had begun to do when it came to Spike and their uneasy truce. Last night was the first time she'd touched him since- no don't think about it- other than when she'd hit for attacking Anya. Anya, who'd almost told her about his soul. He was so sad when he confessed it to her-   
  
And now he was gone. Not in Dawn's room. She stood there, shocked he'd break a promise to Dawn, when she heard a sound. A moan. Cautiously, she crept back to her room and pushed open her own bedroom door.   
  
He was in her bed, fully clothed, his head jerking back and forth. "Nnnnoooo." Spike whimpered.   
  
Great, thought Buffy. Nightmares. Or daymares. Do I wake him, soothe him, leave him? She mulled her options. And then she caught the look on his face.   
  
He was tortured. In terrible pain. And Buffy felt her something twist painfully in her own heart. Soothe him.  
  
She moved to the bed and sat down next to him. Watching him carefully, she ran her hand across his forehead. "Ssshhhh," she whispered.   
  
Tears started to slide from his eyes, and Buffy wiped them away with her thumbs. He kept whimpering, and in a reaction that Buffy would wonder later if it was pure instinct, she gathered him in her arms. Crooning. she began to rock him gently.   
  
"Shhh. It's okay," she whispered into his platinum hair. She kissed his head tenderly. He smelled of shampoo and cigarettes, all Spike, and Buffy hated herself for savoring the scent.  
  
Spike had been dreaming. He was being chased. The mob was coming and he was afraid. Angelus would beat him when he found out. And then it was warm. He could smell the heat and it was heaven and he KNEW everything was okay here, he was safe....His fevered brain began to see through the haze. He was home, being rocked in the arms of the woman he loved, he smelled her vanilla scent....God, if this is a dream let me never wake up, he thought.   
  
And then it was real. He froze in her arms, and Buffy felt him tense, thinking it was him dreaming. Spike could hear her pounding heart....  
  
He yelped as he pushed her away, and Buffy landed in an unceremonious heap in the floor.   
  
"Slayer, I..." he ran a hand through his hair, breathing shakily. "I was having a nightmare, I didn't mean to...."  
  
"No, you were crying out, I thought if I calmed you, you'd keep sleeping...." Buffy jumped up, and moved to the doorway. She kept her back to him, trying to sort herself out.  
  
Spike sat up. "Oh," he said quietly, "right then."  
  
"I've got to go back to work, but there's blood in the fridge. Can you manage till three?" She glanced back at him and headed towards the stairs.   
  
"Yeah," he replied. He stood up, assuming she was already out the door, and then he heard her voice.   
  
"Spike?"   
  
He came out to the stairwell. "Yes, pet?"   
  
She looked up at him kindly. "We'll talk when I get home, 'kay?"   
  
He nodded, and she swept out the door.  
----------  
He slowly made his way down the stairs and into the kitchen. Pouring his blood into a mug, he popped in the microwave. He heard the front door open.  
  
"Spike?" Willow yelled. "In here, Red," he called. Willow bustled into the kitchen, books and all.   
  
"I was just coming to see if you needed me to get you lunch," she smiled at the vampire, "but I see you're up and around."  
  
"Yeah, you just missed the Slayer. She brought me a couple of bags." he retrieved his lunch, and took a swig.  
  
Willow wrinkled her nose." Think I'll have last night's leftover pizza."  
  
Spike grinned. "Didn't feel like sharing anyway."  
  
"How are you healing?" She grabbed a Coke while her pizza was reheating. She knew she had to act casual before she started interrogating him.  
  
"Good, thanks to you and demon g-, I mean Anya. After I have some blood and a bit more sleep, I'll be back on my feet." He marveled a bit to see her position her lunch and swing up on the stool next to him. Friends, he reminded himself.   
  
"Did Dawn tell you I'm pretty sure Glory wasn't there? I mean, yeah, dead, but I didn't feel any other presence around you, save Buffy." She said in between bites.  
  
"Yeah, Niblet told me, but I had guessed."  
  
"I know this is none of my business....but are you trying to kill yourself or just hurt yourself?" She didn't look at him, hoping it would make it easier for him to answer.   
  
He sighed, then he smiled. "Jump right to it, eh? Well......maybe both. I saw Glory, she threatened Buffy and Dawn, and I lost it. I knew I couldn't live through losing them, I had to end it. I was off my bird last night, totally out of control."  
  
Willow shifted uncomfortably. How should she put this? She opted for a straight shot. "And the other burns? You've been hurting yourself, and I know you don't want to hear this but I'm really concerned about you..."  
  
"I'm not worth your concern," he mumbled.   
  
Willow turned to face him, incredulous. "You are my friend, and you are so worth my concern!"   
  
Spike just stared at his blood, numbly.  
  
"I know what you are going through, or at least some of it. But this is not how you get rid of the pain, burning and torturing yourself! We're your friends and...."  
  
"You are my friend!" he yelled, his voice breaking. "But Buffy and Xander- I know that you and Dawn and even Anya care, but Xander hates me, and what Buffy did last night was the compassion of the Slayer, nothing more. After what I've done-"  
  
"Xander helped you last night, and Buffy was really worried... We will help you, I promise!" Willow implored.   
  
"Xander helped because you lot asked, and Buffy....don't think she'll ever forget what I am, not now." He grabbed his mug and stalked upstairs.   
  
"Good going Willow," she said out loud to the kitchen. A moment later Spike was standing in the doorway again, his head ducked. Willow just looked at him.  
  
"I'm sorry I snapped at you, Willow," he grumbled.   
  
She smiled. "S'okay, go back to bed." And she watched as he stomped back to the stairs.  
  
Souls make you do the wacky, she thought, and turned back to her lunch.  
  
------------  
When Spike woke, it was from a dreamless, heavy sleep. He smelled....pot roast? He looked at the clock. It said 5:30. He got out of Buffy's bed, and pulled on his boots. Slayer must be making dinner, he thought.   
  
He made his way downstairs, expecting to hear the chatter of the Scoobies, or at least the three occupants of the Summers' house, but all was quiet. . He followed his nose to kitchen, making out vegetables and gravy, along with the meaty smell. Stopping in the doorway, he observed the Slayer.  
  
Who was bent over the open oven, slaying a pot roast and veggies in a bag. He cleared his throat nervously. She shut the oven and turned around, tucking an escaping lock of blonde hair behind her ear. She smiled uncertainly.  
  
"I sent Willow and Dawn out for dinner and a movie, so we could talk. Alone." Buffy gestured to the dining room, where she had set two places. Spike nodded his head. Why doesn't he speak, she thought nervously.   
  
Spike wracked his brain for something to say in his astonishment. Buffy was volunteering to be alone with him for dinner. Speak, you git!  
  
"Is there anything I can do?" he asked.   
  
"Uh, you can pour the wine, and I'll get the food." She gestured towards the table, and as he went to the wine, she moved to oven. This seemed like such a good idea at the time, she fretted as she arranged the potatoes. Have dinner, a long talk, maybe patrol, then a long kiss....She knew she wished they could, but they can't so...just find out what happened to him, she chided herself. A dinner date, just brilliant Buffy, she thought sourly.   
  
They sat down to an awkward dinner. He asked about her job, she asked about his wounds, and they ate quickly, mostly in silence. When they were done, he said sincerely, "That was the best meal I've had in months."   
  
She searched his blue eyes for signs of sarcasm, and finding none, offered, "Well, it's just one of those easy meals Mom used to make. Throw buncha stuff in bag and bake."  
  
"Still good," he said softly, and she felt her heart skip a beat.   
  
"Look Buffy, I could use a smoke, can we...." Spike began.  
  
"Go out back? Yeah, sounds good!" She jumped up leading the way.   
-------------  
  
They sat out back, on their usual spot on her porch, staring at the stars.   
  
"Spike-" she started.  
  
"Wait," he said, and covered her warm hand with his. "Last night, I thought I saw Glory. More than saw, she spoke to me, touched me , and......she said she'd kill you. Kill you and Dawn, and make me watch. She taunted me about my failure, and then she choked me till I passed out. When I woke up, she was gone, and I, I just...." he tried desperately to keep his voice even.  
  
"Lost it," she whispered.   
  
He swallowed, trying to keep a measure of control. "Yes, luv. I wanted to die, rather than see that, and it couldn't wait. I'm sorry. I didn't even realize you were there, not till you threw me to the ground." He stubbed out his cigarette and waited for her to speak. But she didn't, so he continued. "Thank you for everything. I'm last person who deserves it, I know."  
  
She felt the knots in her stomach intensify, and watched as he ran a hand through his hair. She felt her heart soften. "Don't say that."  
  
"Why not?" he questioned, his voice turning hard. "I deserve a lot worse for what I tried to do to you." Buffy wanted to speak, but found herself frozen. "I couldn't live with what I almost did to you, so I went and got my soul."  
  
Spike let the silence fall between them, knowing what was going to happen next, and he took a deep breath. "I am so sorry, Buffy. never in a million years did I want to hurt you and I almost.....I don't know if you know much about what goes on between vampires, but I've had it done to me, and I always swore that I'd never.....Jesus Buffy, even the demon was sick with what I....I'm so sorry...I know how you must feel about me ....I must sicken you..." he began to ramble brokenly, the pain beginning to consume him.  
  
"How do you know what I feel?" she said sharply, snatching her hand away. Stung, he stared at her in shock. "You ran out of town without a word. You didn't tell me when you came back. We almost had an Apocalypse here, and I almost died." She was shaking with anger. "Don't you tell me how I feel!" and she jumped up and ran into the house.   
  
He followed her to the living room, where she huddled herself on the couch. Confused, he dropped to his knees in front of her, and pried her hands away from her face. She was crying now, and Spike was terrified.   
  
"What, Buffy? Talk to me," he pleaded, his own tears starting.   
  
"It was my fault too! The things I did and said, how I treated you! And then you were gone, and I felt like I'd been hit in the gut!" she sobbed. "No, no, baby," he whispered and pulled her into the floor, into his embrace.   
  
"All those things I did to you, and you forgave me, and I pushed you so far, I know...." Her whole body was hitching with crying, and he wondered if she had been battling this for weeks.....He grabbed her face and forced her huge hazel eyes to focus on his. "Buffy, what happened was NOT your fault. Never think that, never!" She stared at him tears flowing, and he started to kiss away the tears on her cheeks, his heart breaking.   
  
She felt her instincts kick in again, just like this afternoon, and before she knew it she kissing Spike's mouth tenderly.   
  
All he could think as her lips descended on his was "Kiss it, make it better." He tried to be as slow and tender as possible, and suddenly they were sinking to the floor, absolutely lost in one another.  
  
  
To be continued..... 


	7. Comeuppence

Title: Kindred Spirits  
Author: Mia  
Rating: PG for now, maybe R later  
Summary: Set after 7.3, Spoilers for S7. W/T, B/S, X/A  
Warning, this is my first fic, so please review!  
I own nothing, ME and Fox own all!  
  
  
  
Chapter 7  
  
Buffy and Spike had been tenderly kissing, wrapped up in each other in her living room floor for almost a minute, when the inevitable happened.   
  
They were so wrapped up in their reunion, that neither one of them heard the front door open. Buffy was thinking she might need to breathe in a second, when-  
  
"Oh my God."  
  
They jerked themselves apart to find the entire Scooby gang wide-eyed in the foyer. Willow, Anya, and Dawn stood opened mouthed, but right in the front was Xander, clutching the wall and looking sick.   
  
"Oh my God," he repeated, clapping his hand to his mouth and beginning to shake.   
  
Buffy leapt to her feet, and went on the defensive. "This isn't what you think!" she exclaimed, and stepped in front of Spike.  
  
Spike continued to sit in the floor. He could feel the dread of what was getting ready to happen welling up in his chest. He looked to Dawn, trying to gauge her reaction. Her eyebrows were sky-high, because it was exactly what SHE thought. He felt a little relieved.   
  
"It isn't what it looks like? If it isn't what it looks like, I assure I will tear him apart with my bare hands. If we let him back in here to try to rape you again-"  
  
"Xander!" Buffy went towards him, but Xander threw her off. Buffy was shocked, she'd never seen Xander so quietly enraged.   
  
"Xander, just hear her out..." Willow pleaded. She tried to grab his arm, to steady his white shaking form, but he jerked away from her, and went after Spike.   
  
Towering over her, he asked him "So what sick mind game are you playing this time? I have a poor tortured soul, love me," he mocked. "Well, newsflash evil undead, it didn't work for him and all it will earn you here is a dusty death!"   
  
Spike said nothing. He looked at the ground. Buffy was prepared to knock Xander physically away from Spike if possible, but when he made no move, she switched tracks.   
  
"Dawn, I don't think Spike's seen the new training room we made in the basement, do you think you could show him?" She watched Spike carefully. The muscles in his jaw were tensed dangerously, and she knew she had to get him out of the room. Dawn remained frozen.  
  
"Dawn?"  
  
Dawn nodded and went to Spike, reaching out a hand. He took it and stood up, and let Dawn lead him out.   
  
"Oh, and Dawnie, I set up that fold-out bed and some blankets, if you'll show him where that is." Watching them leave, she turned to Xander's blazing eyes.  
  
"He is not staying here another night!" he spat.  
  
"This is my house! How are you planning on stopping me?" Buffy challenged.  
  
"By talking some sense into you! Have you lost your mind? Do you not remember what happened the last time you let him in?" Xander railed, disgusted.  
  
"I didn't see you too unwilling to help last night!" She put her hands on her hips.  
  
"I made the grave mistake of feeling sorry for him! I should have known it was just a ploy to get back into your graces, are you so completely blind you can't see that? Get us to feel sorry for him so he can lead us to disaster, yet again! Or does he have to really rape you to get you to remember what he really is?"  
  
"You don't know what happened to me, what went on between us! Part of what happened was my fault too!" she said desperately.  
  
Xander went competely white. "Is that what he told you? So, help me God, I will kill that bastard!" He started toward the weapon chest.  
  
Buffy grabbed him and whirled him around to face her. "Why won't you even listen to me?"  
  
"Because he is a killer, Buffy. He slaughtered people, and that is all he ever will be. A monster."  
  
They stood in the middle of the living room. And then a small voice cut the silence.   
  
"Like me."  
  
"Will?" Xander glanced down at the couch, and there was Willow, huddled on the far side hugging her knees. Their arguing was making her head almost explode. She decided enough was enough.  
  
"I said, a killer, a monster, like me." She looked at him plaintively.   
  
"No, Will, sweetie...." he started gently, and Buffy started to come over to her. But she lifted up one hand. "Silence," she commanded. Buffy and Xander found themselves unable to speak. She stood up and pointed to the sofa. "Sit," and when the sat, Anya moved from where she'd been sitting on the steps to a chair in the living room.   
  
"Just as a sidebar, kids, I could have made you sit, too, but I'm trying not to go overboard with the magicks. So let me just talk for a minute, and then I'll give you your voices back. She sat on the coffee table in front of them.   
  
"First of all, Buffy, I'm sorry. I thought you guys might make up tonight, but if I thought it would go that far, I'd have stalled a lot more. But, maybe it's good this is all out in the open. " Willow let no passion in her voice, she had to be the voice of reason here.  
  
She chewed her bottom lip thoughtfully, trying to decide where to begin. "I had a lot of time to think while I was in England, and I thought long and hard about Spike. Since I've been back, I've FELT long and hard about Spike, too. And I think," she looked thoughtfully at Buffy, "that Buffy and Spike are inevitable.  
  
Xander opened his mouth, but no sound came out. Willow surveyed her gaping friend and said simply, "I'm not finished." She stood and began to pace the living room as she tried to make her thoughts cohesive.  
  
"It doesn't matter what we think, Xander. It's the yin and yang. I'm not saying it's prophesied or anything, but I'm not saying it's not either. I just feel that it's right in the universe, the way I can feel everything now, I could feel you guys half a world a way. And yes, he was a murderer. Well, newsflash for you Xander, in the last three years, do you know how many people Spike has killed? Zero. And I don't know that because I asked. When I was high on the dark magicks, I was the most powerful human alive. And I saw all of us, everything that we were, everything that we've done. I KNOW," she said with more confidence than anyone had seen in months.   
  
Willow smoothed her bangs to the side and continued. "I wish you and I could say that."  
  
Xander raised his hand and Buffy began to frown. Willow ignored him.   
  
"Think about it, Xander, there is a Slayer, a vengeance demon, and a vampire in this house, and you and I- have killed more humans than all of them. You with your stupid singing demon, and me with Warren. Sure, you didn't mean to, but, hey! Doesn't make them any less dead, does it?  
  
She continued somberly, her green eyes beginning to flash. "I know you want to say he was evil, had no soul, but there has been plenty of evil perpetrated by people with souls in the last year. Tara is dead because of a human with a soul. I would have killed us all, and I had a perfectly good working soul."  
  
"You were channeling some serious black magic, though...." Anya intoned.  
  
Willow's resolve face met her gaze squarely. "True, and I was grief stricken. But no excuses. I hurt the people I loved, even physically. I'm a murderer. But here we are. And you forgive me."  
  
"What Spike tried to do to Buffy is awful," she said quietly. "But there are things you don't know, and when Buffy says you don't know what happened between them, you're going to have to trust that. She's the one that has to forgive. And when Angel came back with his soul, we decided he wasn't responsible for Angelus's crimes." She turned to Buffy, who was looking at her with huge eyes. "I know the things you did, not because he told me, but because I saw." She looked at Buffy determinedly, and Buffy's eyes filled with tears.  
  
"You're going to have to believe me that he gave as good as he got." Xander's jaw tightened. ":And while I have your undivided attention- I'll give you my opinion on that." Willow sat again, but this time in the corner chair, so she could address all of them.  
  
"I've been thinking, I wonder not if we can forgive Spike, but if he can forgive us?" She looked around. Buffy and Xander looked confused, but she thought she saw the tiniest hint of a wistful smile tugging at Anya's mouth.  
  
"When I was little, I wanted to help my mom cook all the time. Of course, I was too little. But she would make sure I had a chair to stand on, and things to stir, and even when I messed up, or made a huge mess...she encouraged me. She didn't yell at me or tell me how'd done bad. And maybe that's where we made a mistake with Spike. Even Giles."   
  
"He wanted to do good, and we ran him down every chance we got. Maybe if we'd have encouraged him, he could have done good," Anya said sadly.   
  
"Exactly. We made it impossible for him to be good. And so in a way, what he's done, we're all responsible." She stared at Buffy and Xander, watching as Buffy's face crumpled in tears. Xander swallowed hard, and looked at the floor.   
  
She turned to Xander. "You are going to have to get over this Spike thing. If you don't, you will destroy everything. And I will not lose one more member of this family," she whispered, and waved her hand.   
  
Xander stood and found he could speak again. "And when he hurts her again?"  
  
Willow looked at him with pity in her eyes. "Some things hurt worse."   
  
"I don't hurt Buffy."  
  
She knew this was a huge risk, but she swallowed and said the one word that would crack everything.  
  
"Liar."  
  
Xander was incredulous. "What?"  
  
"I told you I saw everything."  
  
"And?" he asked angrily.  
  
"Four years ago, I told you to tell Buffy to stall Angel. We were going to going to try the curse again. And you didn't. And she had to kill him. So you got your way, that time, didn't you learn your lesson?"  
  
Xander whirled around, to see Buffy staring at him, horrified, her mouth open.   
  
"You knew?" she choked. Her whole body started to shake, and rage and nausea hit her all at once.   
  
Xander's mouth gaped open. "Buffy," he said desperately.  
  
"No. No!" she yelled. The tears were blurring her vision. "You stood here and berated me for leaving, and you could have spared me, spared Angel...."  
  
"Buffy." he pleaded, "I didn't think you needed the distraction!"  
  
"You bastard!" she spat, her eyes glittering like diamonds, and she turned and ran out the front door.   
  
--------  
Xander sank to floor, numb. What had he done?  
  
Willow sat down in front of him. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "But you have to make this right, and you have to accept Spike, or all I can see for us is misery."  
  
He looked up at her, and she thought her heart would break at the sight of his tear filled brown eyes. Anya moved over to the floor, and guided him up. "Let's go home," she said kindly.  
  
"But Buffy-"  
  
"I think you better give her at least a night to cool off. Come on, honey." Anya helped him out the front door.   
  
Willow sat where she was, praying to the Goddess that'd she'd made the right choice.  
  
No one realized that they never heard the basement door shut, and Dawn and Spike were sitting at the kichen island, listening to every word.  
  
  
  
  
To be continued..... 


	8. A Good End to A Rough Night

Title: Kindred Spirits  
Author: Mia  
Rating: PG for now, maybe R later  
Summary: Set after 7.3, Spoilers for S7. W/T, B/S, X/A  
Warning, this is my first fic, so please review!  
I own nothing, ME and Fox own all!  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 8  
  
The house was silent. Spike and Dawn sat at the kitchen island, both of them in shock. Dawn, her blue eyes huge, slid off her stool, and went to see if anyone was in the living room. Willow sat in the living room floor, drained. She gave Dawn a sickly smile, and Dawn walked back to Spike.   
  
"Holy crap!" she said loudly.  
  
Spike just nodded.  
  
"Don't you think you ought to go after Buffy?" Dawn prodded.   
  
Spike thought for a moment and ran a hand through his unkempt hair. "Actually Nibblet, I think I better give her a good ten minute head start. I wouldn't want to be the vampire in Big Sis's slaying path tonight. "  
  
Dawn nodded. "Yeah...or Xander for that matter."  
  
Spike smiled. "Yeah, well...I'm gonna go talk to Willow, then head out. Don't stay up too late." He ruffled her hair.   
  
"I think tonight I'm going to bed early. Too much excitement for one night." She filled a glass of water, and headed upstairs.   
  
He walked to the living room and looked down in floor, his features etched in concern. "You okay?" he asked Willow.  
  
She gave him a half-heartened grin, and stood up. "Yeah, I'm fine."  
  
He pondered what to say next. "You didn't have to do that......... but I'm really glad you did."  
  
"It was nothing....and it needed to be said." She looked up and saw him smiling at her, not his usual cocky sneer, but a true smile. And she saw everything Buffy must see in him, all the possibilities of his being, in his soft blue eyes. They were shining with love and tenderness, and she was so surprised it took her breath away for a moment.   
  
"Thank you," he said quietly.  
  
"You helped me when I needed it and I helped you. That's what friends do." Willow responded gently.   
  
And then Willow decided to shock him a little. As she went past him to go upstairs, she stopped. She smiled at him and drew him into a hug. Spike responded clumsily, he hadn't hugged anyone but Dawn since....forever. Willow waited for him to get comfortable, and held him a moment, before breaking the embrace and wordlessly heading upstairs.  
  
Spike watched her go, then he grabbed his duster and headed off into the night.  
  
-------------------  
  
Buffy sat against a headstone in the cemetery, waiting for the fledglings to arise. She was cold, and she had only one small stake in her boot. That's what happens when you run out of the house, she thought ruefully.  
  
"Dammit, hurry up! I need to kill something!" she shouted.   
  
Her thoughts and emotions had been a complete jumble since she left the house. What had happened with Spike? What was she going to do about it? What was Xander's problem? How could he have lied?  
  
She wanted to scream, she wanted to cry, she wanted to run until she collapsed. Buffy knew she should focus, but her heart kept screaming, could it have been different???  
  
If she had known they were going to try the curse again, could she have stopped Angel before he pulled the sword out of Acathla? Could she have stalled him long enough?  
  
Her brain battled it out over and over again, as it had so many times after, when she had run away. What could have gone differently? At first she'd had tears, and now anger, but that was slowly dissolving into frustration.   
  
Angry at the way her whole night had gone, she kicked one of them headstones. And heard a voice from the darkness.  
  
"Did you get it, pet? 'Cause that bastard tombstone has been on a killing rampage..." Spike smirked at her.  
  
"Funny. Ha-ha," Buffy replied sarcastically. She went back to leaning against the headstone, staring at the fresh grave. He came and took a seat beside her.   
  
"Came to see if you were okay," he offered.  
  
"No."  
  
"No what?"  
  
"Not okay."  
  
"Oh."  
  
They sat in silence for a minute. Spike couldn't believe what he was about to say. He took a deep breath.  
  
"I'm not saying that Harris isn't a big fat wanker. Especially fat, looks like he's bloody doubled in size since high school. And don't stake me or....well, tell anybody that I said what I'm about to say, but...."  
  
Buffy glared at him.  
  
"But the whelp may have been right."  
  
"WHAT?" She couldn't believe what she was hearing.  
  
"About not telling you about the curse."   
  
"How do you figure that?" Buffy asked irritably.  
  
Spike took a deep breath. "Well it's possible! It's possible that if you knew, you could have been distracted. And you could have made a mistake that resulted in Peaches killing you."  
  
"How can you say that?" She moved to face him, furious all over again.  
  
"Think about it Buffy," he reasoned, "You went in there with the determination to kill him that day. You had to believe that was the only result, kill or be killed, or you wouldn't have won. If you'd have known there was a chance to save him..."  
  
Buffy looked at him, her face hard. "The curse worked, Spike! He was Angel again, and I killed him, that's how much determination I had....." She turned on her heel and started to walk away.  
  
He turned her around, gripping both of her arms hard. "I'm just saying it's POSSIBLE, love. It's possible the whelp did what was he thought was best. And God, Buffy, haven't you tortured yourself enough over this?" He knew what she must have gone through after she killed Angel, everyone knew that the slayer disappeared for months after the incident with Acathla.  
  
Suddenly she realized she didn't want to fight anymore. She was tired. She looked up at him and whispered, "I missed you."  
  
At first he didn't understand her. She had switched gears and he missed the turnoff. Need a few more metaphors for that mix, he remembered her asking. Realizing she was waiting for him to say something, he simply said, "I missed you so much."  
  
He took off his coat and put it over her shoulders. "You forgot your jacket," he explained, and Buffy realized she had caught a glance of courtly William, offering a lady his coat. She smiled and burrowed in it, and they commenced leaning again.   
  
When Dawn brought him his coat, he'd been speechless. He'd expected Buffy to burn it, or at least throw it in the garbage. But it smelled so much like Buffy, he figured she must have worn it on patrol, or kept with her clothes.  
  
As if she was reading his mind, she said, "I slept with it." Buffy rubbed the collar of his duster.  
  
"I-uh-I-oh," he stammered, shocked.  
  
"I missed you. I missed the patrolling, even when I patrolled with Dawn, and the banter, and the...." she trailed off, uncomfortable.  
  
Spike froze. What if the kissing was just, high emotions, and....his stomach began to churn. "Maybe I should go home," he said coolly, not wanting her to realize he was like a nervous schoolboy, totally unsure of what to do next.  
  
"What?"  
  
"You know, I just came to check on you, and I don't want to put you out anymore, and you don't want Xander even more upset, so I'm gonna go back to my place...." He began to back away nervously.   
  
Buffy's brows knitted into a furrow as she tried to figure out what had just happened. "Are you having some kind of attack?" she asked, confused.  
  
He stopped, puzzled. "No."  
  
"Because I'm sure I told you that you could stay with me."  
  
"B-b-but..." he stammered.   
  
"Look, you're not up to patrol, it's been quiet anyway. Just...go home. To my home. I'll rebandage you when I get back. After I'm done here, I'm going to go see Xander, if I can stomach that, and I'll be home. Okay?"   
  
Spike realized it was more an order than a request. She sounded like his mommy, he thought. And not someone you argue with.   
  
"Sure," he agreed, and snapped her a little salute. Buffy snickered as she watched him march away, like a good little soldier, leaving her alone with her thoughts.  
  
But they were both thinking the same thing.  
  
Where do we go from here?  
  
------------------  
  
One hour and two slain fledglings later, Buffy stood in front of Xander's apartment door. The living room light was still on. She took a deep breath and knocked. No turning back now, she thought.  
  
The door swung open, and Anya stood there in her robe. "Hi, Buffy. Xander's unconscious." She smiled.   
  
"Oh, well, could you wake him up?" Buffy asked.  
  
She shook her head. "I don't think that's such a good idea. He drank, well, a bottle of scotch before I got him to bed."  
  
"A whole bottle?"   
  
"Yeah, he was pretty upset. Hysterical, even," Anya admitted.  
  
"Oh, Anya, I'm so sorry.....Could you tell him in the morning I stopped by? After he finds his way out of the toilet bowl?"  
  
"Sure," she glanced back at the closed bedroom door.  
  
Buffy felt bad. She shouldn't have run out." And tell him.....tell him I've calmed down."  
  
"Okay," Anya smiled at her sympathetically.  
  
"Goodnight," Buffy waved, and started down the stairs  
  
"Night," Anya called and realized she ought to say something else. She leaned her body out the door. "And Buffy?"  
  
Buffy turned around and looked up. "  
  
Everything Willow said about Spike?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Go for it. You deserve to be happy." Anya smiled and shut the door.  
  
Yeah, thought Buffy, I deserve to be happy. Now how do I go about that again?  
  
---------------  
  
Spike was sitting on the couch when she came in. He turned off the TV and looked at her expectantly. She shrugged off the duster and hung it on the banister.  
  
"How'd it go?"  
  
"Slaying or Xander?"  
  
"Both."  
  
"Slaying was quick, and Xander had already drank himself into a coma."  
  
Spike rolled his eyes. "Ah, like father like son, eh?"  
  
"Some people could say the same about you," she said flipply. "Come on up to my room, let's get you balmed and bandaged."  
  
He followed her up the stairs. "Hey now, the Great Pouf is NOT my father. And I earned my soul, there is no curse on me."   
  
"So you can...." she raised her eyebrows, and motioned for him sit on her bed.  
  
"Yes., ma'am." Spike sat down and took off his shirt. "Could you imagine what would happen if every time I experienced true happiness, I lost my soul?" he scoffed. "My team wins the World Cup, I lose my soul. Eat one of those flowery onion things, lose my soul. Platelet gives me a hug, I lose my soul. Witch would have to buy one of those bloody Thessalan orbs every other day."   
  
Buffy put the bandages and jar of balm on the bed. She stood in front of him and started to undo his bandages. "But Angel...." she started.  
  
Spike snorted in disgust. "It was hard to make the King of Brood happy, even as an unsouled vampire. The kill was never enough for him, not unless there was physical and psychological torture involved. It had to have...artistry." He continued, trying to ignore Buffy's warm hands rubbing the balm into his healing burns. "He was a big sicko about playing with his food. Gave me the willies. A good spot of violence before bed, human or vamp, some blood, and I was a happy man."   
  
He realized Buffy was looking at him oddly. "But you probably don't want to hear about that..." Even though she was trying to be quick, he was dying, her hot hands gently running over his cool skin. And it tore at his heart, how gentle she was being with him.  
  
He let her finish her task in silence, not knowing what to say, and afraid if he said anything, he'd muck it up. Spike could feel the tension in the room mounting.   
  
Buffy expertly bandaged him back up, and tried her best not to wince at the damage he had inflicted on himself. And certainly not stare at his hard, lean body.   
  
"All done," she said, tossing the old bandages in the trash. She stood up and started towards the bathroom to wash her hands.  
  
"Buffy..." he called hoarsely. He had to know, he couldn't stand it. For a moment she was afraid to turn around. And he was afraid she wouldn't.   
  
She turned around in the doorway, and saw he was absolutely rigid with tension. He was still sitting on her bed, eyes blazing, and she suddenly thought she could see his whole heart on his face. Buffy held her breath.  
  
"I know you'll never love me. I know that I'm a monster, but...you treat me like a man....and that's..." he shook his head and dropped her gaze. He stared at the floor.  
  
"William," she said quietly. He looked up, his eyes tortured with the last memory calling him by that name.  
  
"I want this. I want to try this again....but slowly. And- never say never. Maybe you were right, maybe I did l-.....And what Willow said tonight...." she tried to form a coherent thought, but it all kept coming back to one place. So she let it go there.  
  
"I need time, but...would you please stay with me tonight? Just be here, not for-" Her eyes pleaded with him.  
  
Struck mute, Spike nodded, and hoped to God vampires couldn't turn to dust from happiness.  
  
---------------  
  
Spike slid under the covers, and waited for Buffy to finish up in the bathroom. She came out in her Yummy Sushi pajamas, closed the bedroom door, and crawled in bed. She turned over on her side, and he pulled her close to him, comfortably spooning. She reached back and pulled his arm around her. He sighed contentedly, and buried his face in her hair.   
  
Finally he said, "Cute PJ's, Slayer."  
  
"Don't make fun of my Yummy Sushi pajamas," she warned.  
  
"Wouldn't dream of it," he murmured, inhaling her vanilla scented hair.  
  
And they drifted off to a contented sleep.  
  
  
  
  
To be continued......  
  
More fluffiness, another slayer dream, and a visitor from LA, all coming soon!!! 


	9. Huh?

Title: Kindred Spirits  
Author: Mia  
Rating: PG for now, maybe R later  
Summary: Set after 7.3, Spoilers for S7. W/T, B/S, X/A  
Warning, this is my first fic, so please review!  
I own nothing, ME and Fox own all!  
  
  
Chapter 8  
  
  
Buffy awoke from a sound sleep to what sounded like rattling. She opened her eyes and tried to focus on what was probably Spike prattling around. But instead there was a woman adjusting a monitor, wearing hospital scrubs. Buffy looked around. She was on a hospital bed....  
  
She tried to sit up, but found her body to be non-cooperative. Trying to fight the tide of panic rising in her throat, she tried to speak.  
  
"W-w-where am I?" she managed to croak.   
  
The nurse jumped, startled. "Well my goodness, you're already awake!" She smiled at Buffy, pleased. "You're in the hospital, sweetie. I'll go get your husband, he'll want to know you're awake, he's been so upset..." She bustled out of the room.  
  
Buffy laid there, completely disoriented. I went to sleep with Spike, she thought, and that's the last thing I remember. Something must have happened, and they think Spike is my husband. Or maybe he had to tell them that. Her brain was reeling.  
  
She heard running in the hall, and then the door opened. And in the doorway stood-  
Angel? This is not good, thought Buffy.  
  
He looked like he hadn't slept in days. His worried face broke into a relieved smile as he saw Buffy laying there with her eyes open.   
  
"Hi baby," he said, his gentle brown eyes lighting up. He leaned down and kissed her gently, not seeing her puzzled frown.   
  
"Angel? What's going on?" she asked. It sounded like she hadn't spoken in a couple of days.   
  
"Oh God, Buffy, the doctors said with this kind of head injury, you might not remember some stuff. We've all been going crazy. You were out patrolling with Spike a couple of nights ago, a vampire knocked you out, you had a severe head injury." Angel ran a hand through his already messy brown hair.   
  
"Patrolling with Spike? I don't remember." Buffy tried to think, but her brain was kind foggy....Then something hit her like lightning bolt.  
  
"Dawn! Where's Dawn?" she asked, panicked. Angel smiled.  
  
"Relax, sweetie. Dawn's with Spike, at home."  
  
"Oh, God, she must be so worried!"  
  
Angel shook his head. "She's been cranky, but we didn't tell her you were hurt. I told her you went on a trip."  
  
Buffy snorted. "Oh, I'm sure she bought that."  
  
Angel looked at her funny. "Well, considering she's only 2, I didn't think you'd want me to upset her. How do you tell your 2 year-old daughter that Mommy got hurt out on patrol?"  
  
"Huh?" She could not wrap her brain around what he had just said.   
  
"Angel?" she said slowly. "What are you doing here?" Buffy watched his face carefully.  
He looks a little miffed, she thought.  
  
"Buffy, I'm your husband. Where else would I be?" he asked irritably. "I've been here since they brought you in," he explained.   
  
And that's when she saw it. Angel was sitting in a beam of sunlight. He was human. And something just clicked for her. She had woken up in some bizarro world, where Angel was human, Dawn was their daughter, and Spike was their.....sitter?  
  
Buffy promptly threw up on herself.  
  
--------  
  
Angel ran to get a nurse, and Buffy tried to think. How was this possible? Maybe I ran into another Gumshuneh Gaggy demon and I'm infected again, she thought. If that's what happened, I'll be waking up any time now in Sunnydale. So maybe we'll just see what fevered delusion my brain has cooked up this time.  
  
Her mind made up, Buffy slowly climbed out of bed. The nurse came in and began protesting, "Mrs. Sullivan, you shouldn't be out of bed! We'll just get you cleaned up and...."  
  
Buffy gave her a hard look and said, "You go find my husband and tell him to bring me my clothes. I'm leaving now." She made sure her voice was commanding, she didn't need to be argued with now.  
  
The nurse's mouth popped open and she beat a hasty retreat out of the room. She returned with a worried Angel, who managed a "Buffy, don't you think..."  
  
Buffy whirled around, mustering her best glare of death.   
  
"Angel, if you know me at all, you know I hate the hospital. So, either produce my clothes, or watch me in this attractive yet backless hospital gown." She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow.  
  
She watched him digest this, contemplate if he could really keep her here against her will, and if she would really walk home in her dirty hospital gown. Then he grinned, and took the nurse by the arm and lead her to the door.  
  
"Second drawer, right hand side," he threw back over his shoulder, as she watched him charm the woman right out the door.   
  
-----------  
  
When Angel came back, she had managed to sloppily dress herself. She allowed him to push her wheelchair out to their car. Which was a red convertible. She rolled her eyes. "I'll bet there are mirrors all over the house," she muttered.   
  
"What, honey?" Angel slid in the driver's side and started the car.  
  
Buffy smiled sweetly, "Nothing."  
  
------  
  
When they pulled up to the house at 1630 Revello Dr., Buffy was relieved. At least this was familiar. Angel helped her to the door, and when he opened it, Buffy was almost afraid to go in. Tentatively, she stepped in, and heard the strains of "Sesame Street," on the TV.   
  
"Mommy!" A little voice squealed. Buffy looked down to see a small toddler tripping towards her, arms held high. Buffy squatted to her level and hugged the little girl. Then she pulled back to look at her.   
  
She was about two, with Angel's soft brown hair pulled into to two tiny pigtails on either side of her head. She had tiny little bangs, and huge blue eyes. She was adorable and looked exactly like her sister, Dawn, aged two.   
  
"Mommy, I missed you!" she chirped.  
  
"I missed you, too... my little punkin belly." She tried it out, just see if the little girl bought it. Sure enough, in an exact replica of 15 year-old Dawn, she scowled, and put her little hands on her hips.   
  
"Mommy, I not punkin belly," she said emphatically.  
  
"Of course you're not," Buffy smiled. Standing up, she surveyed her wrecked, toy strewn living room. It looks like Toys-R-Us threw up in my living room, she thought. And little Dawn was in her pink PJ's with a teddy bear on the pocket.   
  
She frowned at Angel. "Why is our daughter in her PJ's in the middle of the afternoon, and why does the living room look like...this?"  
  
Angel started to reply when she heard a male voice from another room call out, "Because it's been sodding one man and a bleedin baby for the last two days, that's why!"   
  
Buffy started towards the kitchen, and Dawn grabbed Angel by one leg. "Pick me up, Daddy!" she demanded. Angel sighed, picked her up, and headed after his wife.   
  
Buffy almost laid over laughing. Spike was in the floor of a completely wrecked kitchen, scraping up what looked like Play-Doh from the kitchen tile. And he was wearing a frilly pink apron that said "Best Mom Ever." Green Play-Doh ws mashed into his bleached hair, but only on one side.  
  
She looked at the vampire on the floor, and Angel's smirk, and said "You two are so cleaning this up!"   
  
Spike glared at her. "Nice to have you home, Slayer." Then he looked at Angel. "I don't know what you're waiting for, mate. You heard the lady, grab a broom!"  
  
Buffy grinned at Angel and held out her arms to take Dawn.  
  
"Have fun boys, Dawn and I are going to survey the rest of the damage." And taking her baby, she left them to it.   
-----  
  
  
She slowly carried her up the stairs, perusing the pictures on the wall. Her and Angel at the beach. Her in a white dress, Angel in a tux on her arm. Dawn's birth, with a smiling Buffy and Angel holding a newborn between them. A picture of Spike and Angel playing with Dawn. A photo of the Scooby Gang, with some odd additions. A picture of Joyce, playing with her granddaughter.   
  
Buffy lingered at the bedrooms, noticing Dawn was yawning, even as she chatted away about "S'ike" playing with her for two whole days.   
  
"I think someone needs her nap," Buffy suggested.   
  
"Mommy!" Dawn whined.   
  
"Hey now, how about I lay down with you?" Her mother had used this technique on Dawn at this age, and she always went for it. She smiled and nodded.   
  
Buffy walked into the nursery and placed Dawn in her toddler bed. The room was her Dawn's room, but it was lavender and white wicker, filled with stuffed animals and Sesame Street prints on her walls. She laid down next to her, and stared at her little face.   
  
"Mama, will you be here when I wake up?" she asked worriedly. Buffy smiled and started stroking her hair.  
  
"Yes, baby, I will." Or someone will, she thought. Dawn put her thumb in her mouth and closed her eyes. As she stroked her hair, she studied her face. It was possible, she thought, she has Angel's hair color and his jaw, and really his skin tone....Oh, this makes no sense, her brained countered.   
  
When Dawn was thoroughly asleep, Buffy gently got up and closing the nursery door behind her, ran directly into Angel.   
  
"She down?" he asked quietly. Buffy nodded.   
  
"I've got go out for some groceries if we want dinner tonight. And Spike and I will patrol, Willow and Xander are gonna come watch Dawn if you want some rest." He smiled at her and reached down, brushing her hair back from her face. Angel was looking at with such love, she felt her heart skip a beat.   
  
"You okay?" he asked, taking in her odd expression. She nodded and drew him into a long hug. Then she pulled back, and feeling a familiar ache she hadn't felt in a long time, she kissed him tenderly, savoring the familiarity of something she thought she'd never have again.   
  
He began to nuzzle her neck, and he whispered in her ear, "Maybe it's time to think about making another baby."  
  
Buffy pulled back, a little stunned. He wanted another? "We'll talk later," she said, hoping that would satisfy him. He grinned and started down the stairs.   
  
"I like Connor for a boy," he singsonged as he walked out the door. Buffy thought she had never seen him so happy.  
-----  
  
She went downstairs, looking for Spike. She took a wild guess and headed for the basement. It was set up as a training room, with a twin bed in the corner. It was covered with a black comforter. Shocker, Buffy thought wryly.Spike was laying on it, listening to his headphones. Buffy walked over and tapped him on the shoulder.  
  
"Can I talk to you a minute?"  
  
"Sure." he turned off his music and sat up, and gestured to the chair at the end of the bed.   
  
"Look, I didn't want to worry Angel, so please let's keep this between us," she started. Spike cocked his head, and watched her intently.  
  
"All right," he said slowly. Buffy hoped he would cooperate.  
  
"I don't remember some stuff. Head injury, you know?" She watched him carefully. "But the doctors said it would come back," she lied quickly.   
  
He was still just watching her. So she added, "Just help me cover till it comes back, please? He's already been through enough?"  
  
"How far back does this go?" The memory loss?" He asked casually.  
  
"Well...I..." Buffy hedged.  
  
He stood up, "Nibblet?"  
  
"Not exactly," she admitted.  
  
"Angel turning human?" he asked.  
  
"Not really."  
  
"The Initiative, Faith, the Mayor, Gem of Amara?"   
  
"All yes. But... Spike what year is it?" she asked.   
  
"Oh bloody wonderful," he hissed. "We'll never pull this off.. It's just a matter of time before Peaches figures it out!"   
  
"Look, just start with the Gem of Amara and go from there! Please," she pleaded. And just like in her world, he threw up his hands and relented. Sitting on the bed, he glared at her.  
  
"Fine. It's October 24th, 2002. The Gem of Amara...." And Spike gave her a rundown of the past 3 years, as he knew it.  
  
--------  
  
Half an hour, and many questions later, they heard the front door slam. Buffy stood up and the world went black.  
  
She woke up in her own bed, Spike's arm tucked around her. It was five minutes till her alarm went off. And she felt horribly relieved.   
  
  
To be continued..... 


	10. Coming Home

Title: Kindred Spirits  
Author: Mia  
Rating: R  
Summary: Set after 7.3, Spoilers for S7. W/T, B/S, X/A  
Warning, this is my first fic, so please review!  
I own nothing, ME and Fox own all!  
Ch. 10  
  
  
When Buffy's alarm went off, she rolled out of bed and shut it off. A yawning Spike rolled to the other side of the bed. She stood over him, and said seriously, "Don't go anywhere. I'll be right back." And she left the room, shutting the door behind her.   
  
He wasn't about to argue. He felt for the first time in forever, really rested. Like he had come home. He figured she just didn't want everyone to know he hadn't slept in the basement, after all.  
  
Buffy went to the bathroom, brushed her teeth, and went downstairs to make a phone call. When she came back, Spike was laying exactly as she had left him, dozing again. She crawled back into bed, waking him, and he rolled to his side, looking at her oddly.  
  
"Aren't you gonna get ready for work, Slayer?" he asked.  
  
Buffy frowned. "No. I called into work, canceled my appointments. I'm exhausted, and I think we need to talk about why."  
  
Spike stared at her, confused. She watched as realization dawned on him, and his face comically fell. "I snore, don't I? Oh God, how embarrassing!"  
  
She giggled. "No, you don't snore. I had this, dream, I guess, and I need to run a theory by you."  
  
"A dream or....A Dream?" He waggled his eyebrows at her.  
  
She slapped his arm lightly. "No you big perv! I'm serious!"  
  
"Okay! Okay!" Spike chuckled at her outrage. He propped himself up on his elbow, and she did the same.  
  
Buffy relayed the dream as Spike listened. She stopped before she told him what his dream counterpart had told her.   
  
"Look, before I launch into what the other Spike told me, I've got to tell you something that was sort of the same."  
  
"Other than I am obviously your bitch wherever I go?" Spike asked.  
  
Buffy frowned. "No, it's about when I came back. Part of the reason I was so depressed when we went on our little drinking binge was, I had gone to see Angel."  
  
"Figures."  
  
"ANYWAY," she continued, irritated, "we met for a whole day, evening to evening. There's a motel at this beach....It was great for a couple of hours. We laughed, we cried, I confessed to him about heaven, but then he let a little something slip. He said, 'I should have known the deal with the Powers that Be wouldn't let you stay dead.' I asked him what that meant, and he didn't want to tell me. Finally, I threatened to kick his ass." She paused.  
  
"And?" Spike prompted.   
  
She rolled onto her back, staring at the ceiling. "Do you remember that first Thanksgiving, when he snuck in to help with the Ind-, I mean Native Americans."  
  
"Yes," Spike replied.  
  
"Well, I went there to call him on it. And apparently, we had a day that didn't happen." Buffy still wasn't looking at him.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Apparently, a Mohra demon crashed our meeting and ran off. We took to the sewers to hunt it, and some of it's blood mixed with Angel's. It turned him human." She closed her eyes.   
  
"We had one perfect day, that I don't remember. He had the Powers that Be take it back, because he wasn't Super-Guy anymore, and he couldn't protect me. The Oracles told him I would die, soon, if he was human. So without asking me, he erased it. What I remember is him killing the demon in his office. Just like he knew it was coming."  
  
"He did it for you, pet..." Spike started.  
  
"I was furious. He did exactly what my friends had done, took away my decision. I had no say. I'd have rather lived out my dreams and died, Spike. All Slayers have a short life. At least mine would have been happy. We had the worst fight. Didn't part on good terms." She turned back to face him   
  
"What the other Spike told me, was that it did happen. Only on that perfect day, we conceived Dawn. She was still the Key, but Angel killed Ben, and I died to save the world and my daughter. Willow, Tara and you moved in to help Angel with the baby. I was still resurrected, Mom was still dead, Tara still got shot while watching Dawn with Willow, everything was pretty much the same, except for us. And you still had no soul."  
  
  
  
Spike frowned. "I thought you said this was a dream?"  
  
"I don't know," Buffy admitted. "It was more like visiting an alternate reality. It was so clear."  
  
"But aren't your Slayer dreams that way?"  
  
"No, they're more like big abstract puzzles." She turned back to him. "I think it was trying to tell me something." She stared at him.  
  
Spike looked around, hoping that it would come to him, whatever she was thinking. When it dawned on him, he wished it hadn't.  
  
"Bloody. Hell." He said vehemently. He stood up and started pacing. Buffy watched silently for a moment.  
  
"You think I'm right, don't you? I mean, it makes sense, right?"  
  
"More than you know, Slayer," he growled.  
  
Buffy let the reality sink in as she laid in her bed. Angel was Dawn's father.   
  
------  
  
After they were sure Dawn had gotten a ride from Janice and Willow had left for school, Buffy and Spike crept downstairs for some breakfast.   
  
She poured milk in her cereal while Spike heated up a mug full of blood.   
  
"It had to someone, you know. I mean she was made out of me, but she doesn't look like me. She has dark hair, she's going to be way taller. There had to be some extra genetic material, if she wasn't Mom and Dad's," Buffy remarked. "But I do wonder about the blue eyes."  
  
Spike took a swig. "Peaches' mum."  
  
"Huh?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Angel's mum had blue eyes. Saw a watercolor, he burned quite a few when he lost his soul. Plus, your dad has blue eyes, so she had a fifty/fifty shot," he informed her.  
  
"Wow, you know genetics." Buffy was impressed.  
  
"I am kind of old, pet, " he said wryly. He wondered what she'd think of his poetry and his Oxford education.  
  
"So what do you think happened?" she asked.  
  
"My best guess? The monks were gonna have 10 months to make a little Key for you to protect, but when the Magnificent Pouf took the day back...they had to spend that time fashioning a sister. I bet they even sent the Mohra demon. So your daughter became your sister, they still got what they wanted. Should have bloody known.  
  
"How could you have possibly known that..." she started to admonish him.  
  
"Because now that you've told me....It's probably why I'm so damn protective of her. She smells like you, but there's something else. My sire. I can smell him, too. She's family as far as the demon can sense."  
  
"I thought Dru was your sire," she wrinkled her nose.  
  
"Technically, yeah, but the bond between the four of us was intense. He taught me how to be a vampire. Angelus liked to exchange blood when we'd...." he broke off, uncomfortable.  
  
"Oh," Buffy said. Then suddenly she understood he meant...sex. Her eyes grew round. "OH," she said again.  
  
Spike his eyes away from her. "Yeah, well...I should have known, but as soon as you said it, I knew it was true." He rubbed his forehead. "What do you want to tell Dawn? Are you gonna tell him?"  
  
Buffy finished her breakfast, and went to rinse out her bowl. "I need to tell Dawn. I promised no more protecting her. But Angel- what is the point?" She shrugged her shoulders.  
  
"Yeah, I doubt he'd run down here with Daddy impulses. He'd probably just brood himself sick anyway," Spike snickered at the thought.  
  
Buffy shook her head and said, "I feel lazy, let's go back to sleep for awhile."  
  
Spike smiled and followed her back upstairs.   
  
------------  
  
"These burns look better," she pulled his shirt back down. They sat on her bed.  
  
"What are going to do about the whelp?" Spike asked.  
  
Buffy sighed. "Talk it out, I guess. Bet he called in sick today, too." She looked at Spike, who had a serious look on his face,  
  
"Buffy," he began, "I don't want to cause problems..."  
  
She cut him off. "Look Spike, he's going to have to deal. Or not. It's really up to him. but I need to see what we have here. I'm willing to give you and me a clean slate, and he needs to respect that."  
  
"A clean slate, huh?" He reached over to caress her cheek. She leaned into his caress, smiling. If his heart could beat, it WOULD break his chest, he thought. She was so beautiful.  
  
"Yeah, a clean slate. Slayers aren't set up for the happy. I may not be around long, but I'll take what I can get." Spike could see the resolve in her hazel eyes. He pulled her into a hug.   
  
"You're not going anywhere," he whispered into her hair. Buffy ran her hand over his back, and just let him hold her, enjoying her happy.  
  
He pulled back a little, and pulled her chin up. "If it helps with Xander, I don't think that you could have stalled Angelus," he said seriously. "Although I do wish I'd have helped more, I feel so guilty."  
  
Buffy shook her head. "Don't. If you'd have stayed, you'd have been killed, more than likely."  
  
Puzzled he asked, "Why do say that?"  
  
She smiled up at him, sadly. "Whistler told me that in the end, you're always alone. That was the point. I had to do it alone."  
  
As he leaned down to kiss her beautiful mouth, he whispered, "You will never be alone again. I swear it."  
  
Spike felt shivers as she moaned into his kiss. He eased her back on the bed, kissing her as tenderly as he could. Breaking the kiss, he looked into her eyes. They were smiling. He stroked her cheek and took an unnecessary breath.  
  
"Yes," she said. And pulled him in for a deeper kiss. Both of their bodies lit fire with an urgency, but they fought to be gentle with each other for the first time. He pulled off her Yummy Sushi PJ's, she gently peeled his clothes off of his bandages. They both tried to savor something that used to be so violent, now it was desperately gentle.  
  
And when they sank into each other's body, they both had the same thought. It was like coming home.  
  
To be continued...... 


End file.
